A Minuscule Rip in the Space Time Continuum
by thecolouryes
Summary: It's one rambling story that makes no sense, that includes the Doctor and Rose and, oh, right, me! It's really retarded but I LOVE it. Because it's a giant ramble, and a story at the same time!
1. A ManHole Cover Sized Leaf

**A/N: Alright, I thought this needed an author's note to explain it a bit.**

**This is, essentially, a 2537-word ramble. With a bit of Doctor Who thrown in. And it's based off of real events -- well, sort of. I did honestly speculate all of the things I speculated in this story in real life.**

**Yes, I realize that I am way too obsessed. Soon enough, I'll get over it -- I'll have found a new fandom to become addicted to.**

**But, if you can follow my logic, you're lucky, and you can read this. If you can't follow my logic... turn away now.**

* * *

"Where the _hell_ am I?" I wonder aloud. I'm investigating a plant -- yes, a plant, but I'll get back to that in a second -- when all of a sudden, I'm not where I thought I was.

Okay, I admit, that sentence doesn't make much sense. Admittedly, I have _no_ idea where I am, but now's as good a time as any to recap, so I can see if there's anything I missed the first time around. Which is unlikely.

Right. Back to the point (sort of).

I was investigating a plant. This was, oh, about, two minutes ago now. You see, a couple days ago, I was -- let's start at the beginning.

Fourteen years ago, on March 9th, in Madison, Wisconsin--

That's a little _too_ back at the beginning.

I hope you can follow my logic here. It's a little off, I know.

Right.

Every summer, for the past five summers (ever since I was nine and coming out of third grade), I've gone to a horseback riding day camp. It's really fun, and I absolutely adore it, and it's definitely my favorite camp ever. And I honestly, if you asked me why, couldn't give you a real answer. I'd probably say something like, because I love it. Or something. I don't know.

But anyway, I ride every summer at this camp. And they've got this field (I know, outrageous, right? What horse barn has a _field_?) where we can ride, but only once they've set up the jumps out there. Because the only reason why we would (do) jump out there is so that the really advanced people who jump out there can jump out there. Does that makes sense? Well, don't worry; it doesn't have to. All you have to know is that we ride in the field.

Back to the point. We were riding in the field a couple days ago, and there was this plant that happened to be right after one of the jumps that the horses kept spooking at. And one girl even fell off and fractured her wrist because a horse spooked so badly.

So, of course, I decided I would investigate.

Which brings me back here.

I came out to the field today, hiked across the giant empty (except for jumps and whatever else was hiding in the bushes) field in horse boots and horse-dirt-y jeans and t-shirt and sunglasses and holding my now-only-half-frozen water bottle that was half filled with water. Only, by the time I got all the way over to the plant, it was like a quarter filled with water. But it was still half ice. So I had a three-quarters-full water bottle in my hand. (I alternated between holding it in my left and right because it made my hand cold.)

Back to the ... point?

Ahh, right, now I remember. I can't believe I forgot. I think it's cause I have a really bad habit of losing my train of thought in the middle of a big ramble. Which is what this is turning out to me. So, I went and looked around for this plant. It had been described as a really big leaf thing. Now, (and be ready for another ramble here) on that day when the horses had been spooking at this plant, I wasn't jumping out in the field, so I was bored. Watching other people ride only entertains you for so long. When I'm bored, I get to thinking. That sentence makes it sound ominous, and, in this case, it is. Was. Whatever.

I was thinking about this plant. And how, maybe, just _maybe_, there was a reason the horses were spooking at it that we couldn't see. Recently, I've become addicted to the British tv show Doctor Who. It's incredibly amazing. Although, you would know, wouldn't you? You're already a fan of it. I don't need to go around _explaining_ how amazing it is, because the only reason you would read something retarded like this (because already I can see how retarded this is getting, and I'm really writing it as a way to kill time and to exercise the writing part of my mind which hasn't been used in a while and really needs a brilliant (ha ha, I was brilliant) way to get all of this Doctor Who out of my head) is if you were a fan. Not even the hugest fan, but a fan nonetheless, because who but a fan of Doctor Who would go looking on for a parody of Doctor Who that is in actuality the Doctor Who equivalent of an insert-yourself Pirates of the Caribbean fanfic. Oh, you all know what I'm talking about. One of those stories where, with the help of someone or something magical, a fangirl _pops_ into the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, says all of the characters lines along with them, and creates an amusing story.

Except that this time, it wasn't a Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I've had practice with those -- go read The Tale of Lucy Turnenbaumerumm for proof. No, this was something totally different. For one thing, it wasn't aided by someone or something magical. Unless you think horses or plants or giant rips in the -- oops I'm gonna give away the story -- are magical.

Here's what it was.

I was sitting on a horse and thinking about a plant that other horses were spooking at. Funny how things like that work, eh? Right. Focus. Try and get this finished _without_ it being five times more ridiculously long than it doesn't need to be. If that even makes sense. So I was think about this plant, and about Doctor Who. Can you see where this is going? Sort of? Well, I thought there had to be a reason all of the horses were spooking at it. And then I wondered (only half theoretically, if you know what I'm saying) if horses were more susceptible to things like that. Well, animals in general. Sort of like how cats know when an earthquake is about to happen and they get themselves somewhere save. Yeah, sort of like that.

Only instead of an earthquake, it was a rip in the space-time continuum.

That's right, I though horses were spooking at a rip in the space-time continuum.

Or is it time-space continuum? I didn't know then, either. Ah well.

And then I got to thinking how I would have that explained to me. It would go something like this:

"Yep, that's right, a rip in the space-time continuum." (That would be the Doctor, or, if this didn't turn out to be a Doctor Who fic, the Doctor Who equivalent person.)

"But hidden under a _leaf_?" (That would be me.)

"Yep. Actually, it's a pretty small rip in the space-time continuum." (The Doctor.)

"What are you talking about? That was a HUGE leaf!" (Me.)

"Think about it. Compared to all of space and time, it's not that much." (The Doctor.)

"Oh. Well, okay." (Me.)

Of course, this would all happen after I'd discovered the rip in the space-time continuum. Which would require me discovering it in the first place. So, I went and investigated the plant.

We're back to investigating the plant.

We really haven't gotten anywhere, have we?

That was a rhetorical question.

I lifted up the leaf.

And I got sucked through the _minuscule_ rip in the space-time continuum that was the size of the GIGANTIC leaf (honestly, the leaf was HUGE! It was like a manhole cover or something) and ended up here.

In a field that looks exactly the same.

Except for that blue box over there.

_Except for that blue box over there._

"Except for that blue box over there!" I say out loud. "That blue box! It's familiar! It's blue! It's a familiar blue box! IT'S THE TARDIS!" I scream. I start running over there. It's basically on the other end of the field. Well, in one of the corners. A good way away. But I'm running over there, towards the blue box. And tripping in pot-holes along the way, and almost falling on flat on my face, and feeling like a right idiot running in riding boots, and not caring that I'm feeling like an idiot because I'm running towards the blue box and then halfway there I start blinking repeatedly and then I actually do fall flat on my face because I tripped in a stupid pothole, bleh, and then I realize that it isn't the blue box I think it is.

And then I realize that I'm just looking at the back of it. And then I jump around in circles, trip again, stop jumping around crazily and keep being crazy but controlledly so, and I then I wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Wow, the seconds tick by _really_ slowly when you're waiting for the TARDIS door to open in front of you.

And out comes the Doctor (David Tennant regeneration, of course; he's the first one I saw and I've kinda become attached to him and wouldn't it make sense that it's him anyway?) and Rose.

"But aren't you trapped in a -- no wait, that might not have -- oh, this could be in between -- but then when exactly -- oh whatever, I'll just ask," I think aloud.

I do that a lot.

I walk over to them. The Doctor's looking around like, _Is this the right place? _and Rose is looking at him like, _Where has he taken me this time?_ and I'm looking at them like _Oh my god I can't believe this is real and they're right in front of me and this isn't a dream or --_

"Hi, I'm Lucy Turnenbaumerumm," I say; "and I know who you two are. You're the Doctor, and you're Rose. And no, you don't meet me in your future," I answer to the question I can guess that the Doctor is wondering. "And my last name is a bit of a, well, it's not my real last name, cause, you know, I'm gonna want to preserve this for posterity and what not, you know, fanfiction."

"Ahh, fanfiction," the Doctor answers. He looks at me again. "You're not a rabid fangirl, are you?" he asks suddenly.

"Nope!" I reply brightly. "Not rabid, anyway. I doubt I'm even doing you a justice in writing this." I think about this for a moment. "Nope, I'm definitely doing you an injustice by writing this."

"Ah, well."

There's a bit of awkward silence.

"Why're you here?" Rose asks. "Why are _we_ here?"

"A tiny rip in the space-time continuum. It's over there," I explain, pointing to where the giant leaf is.

"I can fix that up in a second," the Doctor replies. I don't doubt him, but I also know that without it, I would have no way of getting back to my parallel dimension where the Doctor is only a character in a tv show and I don't want to go just yet. "Which parallel dimension are you from?"

"The one where you're a tv show character."

"Ahh, I love that one. Don't visit often, 'cause it would, you know, cause a huge problem and you would know about it, and then I'd have rabid fangirls after me, and _blah, blah, blah._ Which season are you up to?"

"Fourth season. Just finished it. The ending makes me depressed. And happy at the same time. And I think she would have liked it better if you could have un-regenerated in your duplicate," I add to the Doctor, who, obviously, knows exactly what I'm talking about, because he nods knowingly.

Which is hard to do if you have no idea what's going on.

"What?" Rose asks, confused.

"You'll find out soon enough."

"Or not so soon enough."

"Oh, you're still in the second season?"

"We just finished -- hmm, what's it called -- the one with the werewolf. Tooth and Claw, I believe it's called."

"Ah. I like that one. My favorite's still Shakespeare, though." The Doctor nods, remembering his future.

"_What_ are you two talking about?"

"I'll tell you some other time; now I need to fix that rip in the space-time continuum. How did you know about it?"

"Well, I was riding -- at horseback riding camp, and these horses spooked, and since I've become obsessed with your show recently I got to thinking about it, and rips in the space-time continuum, and the idea just sort of popped into my head."

"Well, Lucy, you were brilliant." I smile.

"You say that to everyone."

"Do not!"

"Do too, and I can prove it. I've seen the end of the fourth season." The Doctor sighs.

"Wait a sec!" I say, and pull my cell phone out of my pocket. "I _have_ to get a picture with you guys -- at least my friends will think I met David Tennant and Billie Pipper! Which makes me AWESOME!" I hand the cell phone to Rose and get her to take a picture of me and the Doctor. And then him to take a picture of me and her. And then I make them take duplicates in case the first ones somehow get deleted. Then, I lead them over to the gigantic leaf.

"That's one big leaf," Rose says.

"Yes, but compared to all of time and space, it's minuscule. Bye!" I wave, and them I fall into the rip in time and space and I know that I'll never get back there because the Doctor's fixing the rip, but you know, if I tried I could probably rip it apart again but I don't have the right tools at camp and it would kinda be wierd for me to come to camp with time-space-continuum-cutting scissors, 'cause those things are HUGE and they would _never_ fit in my cooler, which would be a problem, because then I couldn't sneak them out of the house. If I could ever find them in the first place.

And then, I run back to camp, like back to the barns, and I ask the arts and crafts teacher to get me a pen and a piece of paper to write down little snippets so that I don't forget the idea, and when I come home I can write it.

And so, at nine o'clock at night, I start writing this huge rambling story thing, and I don't finish until almost eleven, but that's because I'm watching Doctor Who in between, which makes it all better.

* * *

**A/N: I may continue this, at some point in the future. Whenever the inspiration strikes me.  
**

**Like right now, I just wrote a 299-word little blip to come after this, that also happens to be a transition from Tooth and Claw to School Reunion.**


	2. In Between

**A/N: This is a little blip of what comes after I've left.**

**It's also a transition between the episode Tooth and Claw and the episode School Reunion.**

**Even though it's ridiculously short, I happen to like it.**

* * *

"What was _that_?" Rose demanded of the Doctor.

"What was what?" he asked, faking obliviousness.

"You know what I'm talking about. That girl. The one with the American accent."

"Who?"

"You know, Lucy, or whatever. The one with the ridiculously long surname."

"Oh, her? A fangirl. Like she said. And obviously not rabid."

"What?"

"Haven't you ever heard of fangirls before?"

"Well, yeah, but how can you have fangirls? You're -- you're a person! Only actors and characters get fangirls."

"I can have fangirls if I want," the Doctor replied indignantly.

Rose rolled her eyes.

"She was from a parallel dimension where I'm a character in a show."

Rose looked at the Doctor skeptically. "You expect me to believe that?"

"No, but it's true."

Rose sighed.

"It's true, I swear! I could take you there some time but I wouldn't recommend it -- like I told Lucy, be a real person in a place and time where you're only a character, and you've got rabid fangirls after you. That is _not_ a fun experience."

Rose laughed.

Her phone rang.

"Mickey!"

The Doctor looked at the phone like it was it's fault Mickey called Rose.

"Of course we'll come. And what's the date again?"

The Doctor handed Rose a piece of paper and a pen.

She wrote down a date and time and location on the paper and handed it back to the Doctor.

He started punching buttons and pulling levers and the like.

"Listen, Mickey, I have to go, but we'll be there in a few. Really. See you soon!" Rose hung up on him.

"What is it we're going to?" the Doctor asked his companion.

"Mickey found some school that he thinks we should investigate."


	3. Wait, What Was I Talking About Again?

**A/N: Right. This isn't exactly another part to the story, but another ramble, sort of like the first in that it tells a story in and of itself but the story really doesn't make much sense. And if I start trying to explain it, I'll go off on another ramble. Which you don't want to see, I guarantee. **

**1771 words of rambling. Have fun.**

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Heh. I've always wanted to say that. I'm not quite sure why. Ever since I came across it in some book (either Nancy Drew or some horse book, where they meant both "back at the ranch" and litterally "back at the ranch"), I've wanted to say it.

Wow, this is turning into a ramble already, and it's only the third paragraph in. Or the second, if you don't could that little fragment at the beginning as a paragraph.

So anyway, back at the ranch, except that it wasn't a ranch because even though I would love to, I don't live on a ranch. If I did, going to horseback riding camp would be kinda pointless, don't you think? No, I live in a normal colonial style (I believe) house in a suburb outside of Philly. In the United States, if you couldn't guess that. Right. So. Umm...

Oh yeah! The point of this ramble-type thing.

So. Doctor Who. Amazing fandomness. Because Doctor Who is awesome.

It started like this. Episode I: National Treasure: Indiana Jones and the Search for the Lord of the Rings of Pirates Related to Harry Potter and His Girlfriend Jessica Stanley Who Has a Patient for House Who Becomes a Decomposed Body for Bones in a Blue Police Box. No, wait, sorry; wrong note on my phone. That's the retarded tv show/movie my friend and I are never going to create. It can also be reffered to as EI:NT:IJATSFTLOTROPRTHPAHGJSWHAPFHWBADBFBIABPB or EI:NT:IJSLRPRHPHSGJSWHPHWBDBBBPB or the actual name because the acronym is so ridiculously excessive.

It all _actually_ started like this. Wait, I forget what I was saying. Something about creepy monster goo? Oh yeah. That comes later. Here we go.

It started (for reals) like this.

"Since when has there been a manhole cover in my street?" This is me, talking on my phone, to my friend Ashley. She's been my friend since we were 2 and I bit her. She's bitten me back for that ONE occurance multiple times. I think it's affected her as a human being (not really though). She's a darma queen. I mean drama queen. Sorry. Having a bit of an incompetence when it comes to typing things today. Oh well; that'll provide a good title for this document. See, the first ramble I wrote about this, that was an honest-to-god(dess) ramble, and not just a random filler chapter, I mis-typed the word "ramble". I typed it "rambke". The second time, I was only kind of trying to mis-type the word "ramble", and I came up with "rmable". No joke. The two files are called "doctor who rambke.rtf" and "doctor who rmable.rtf". Yes, I usually write my fanfics in .rtf files. Or the humorous ones anyway. The serious ones -- for the most part -- I write in .docx files cause I have word 2007. I'm not quite sure why, but I've noticed it about my files.

Anyway, we live like a block away from each other. Half a block up my street, half a block along her street. Or down my street, depending on whose house you're going to. And we're really close. And so it kinda made sense that she was the one I called to ask why there was a manhole cover in the middle of my street where there _definitely_ hadn't been a manhole cover the day before. There might have been one since that morning, but I can't be accounted for what I do and do not notice in the morning. I'm not awake until about 11, which is ironically about 5th (of 8) period. Then, I have a nice hyper friend in that class, and we can be hyper together. It's good.

Oh great. I just remembered I have a math test tomorrow. Brilliante. I pronounce it like that sometimes. Usually just in my head, though. Bril-lant-te. I don't know why, but I do.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Um... nope, forgot again. Hmm. Writing and IMing at the same time makes it very easy to lose your focus. Friday, 26 min 19 hrs 1 day, math test, people, Doctor Who, tv show, monster goo, _creepy_ monster goo -- creepy monster goo! Ashley! Manhole-cover! I remember.

So I ask Ashley why there was a manhole cover in the middle of my street where there definitely wasn't one the day before (but there was a possibility that it was there this morning; I can't remember). And guess what she says? "What do you mean, why is there a manhole cover in the middle of your street?"

"It definitely wasn't there yesterday." (This is my response. The one word of TRUTH in this whole freaking -- what was I taking about again? ;) )

"What are talking about? There's always been a manhole cover right in front of my house." (Ashley, thinking she knows what she's talking about. The lier.)

"Okay, technically it's not 'right in front of my house.' It's on the _street_ in front of my house." (Some sense. From you-know-who.)

"Whatever." (Told you I was winning. Actually, I don't think I did, but I did just know, so there.)

"And secondly, it wasn't there yesterday! It mighta been there this morning; I wasn't really paying attention. But it definitely wasn't there yesterday." (Me. Duh. I mean really, who did you expect, the president? I think I can pronounce things slightly better than he can, thank you very much. Note that I only said slightly. And I didn't say always. So, umm, anyway, back to Ashley's response.)

"Umm, Lucy, what are you talking about? There's always been a manhole cover in the street in front of your house." (Let's guess. That couldn't be Ashely, now could it? (annoying person: No, it's Ashley, not Ashely.)(me: thank you, Captain Obvious! Who is nowhere near as awesome as Captain Jack! From either fandom to which it applies! The one of which the fandom that this story takes place in is not prompting me to realize what you're trying to get me to do! and I say NO! No author's notes in the middle of the story!)(annoying person: Isn't that what this is?)(me:SHUT UP!))

"I know I was dropped on my head multiple times as a child but that does not mean I am insane! It means I have an awesomely strong head! So there! And it also means that I'm not lying when I say that that manhole cover definitely wasn't there yesterday. Goodbye!"

And then I hang up on Ashley. I'm not really sure why I call her. Probably because I have nothing better to do. So then I call my friend Caitlin. Caitlin and I are strangely alike. Recently she's been like, running off on me, and like, infusing herself into me. I know that sounds wierd but like, I was like, almost sick two days ago at school, right? And then I go into Bio, which is the one and only (but thank god(dess) for it) class I have with her, and after about five minutes with her, I'm like hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper. And she is like, inside my brain. Woah. That sounds... wierdly awesome. Probably cause I've got Stephenie Meyer's book The Host on my brain at the moment for some reason. Not quite sure why. Wow, I'm doing a good job of keeping this a Doctor Who fic, aren't I? It sounds like a big ramble about nothing.

So I call my friend Caitlin. But apparently I'm not supposed to call my friend Caitlin, probably because she doesn't exist because she's too much inside of my brain so there were just like, plah, we're not going to make her an actual person cause we're lazy. And guess what happens when I call Caitlin? Well, you know that voice that says, "the number you have dial is not in service. Please hang up and try again"? So yeah, that voice, it was like, "the number you have dialed does not exist because we're lazy bums. Do not hang up or you will die." So I hang up. And guess what? I don't die. I wake up. Cause I'm sleeping. Or was sleeping, I suppose. And then I go to school, and take the PSAT, and then get braces on the bottom half of my teeth, and then blah, blah, blah. And then late, like 10 pm, I decide I'm going to write another Doctor Who ramble, so I sit down and write this retarded shit for like, an hour, and here I am.

And that dream didn't have anything to do with creepy monster goo, did it? Don't worry; you'll get that dream in the future. I just wanted to ramble about nothing first.

And, oh yeah, so you don't get mad at me.

god(dess) Well, I created this sort of religion-type-thing for an orginial story (well actually quite a few of them) that I'm writing. It's not really a religion yet; it's just sort of ideas and goddesses (and gods, I suppose) and stuff floating around in my head. But the reason I say god(dess) is because the main being in charge of this religion-type-thing is female. And, interestingly enough, the moon. And her second-in-command is a certain re-incarnated writer born in this era who just happened to think that she created all of this stuff when in actuallity it was the Mother feeding all into her brain. And so this re-incarnated being is called the Goddess of Life and Death, or just the Goddess. So that's why I keep saying thank goddess, instead of thank god. It's always nice to be thanking the actual higher entity. If she's still out there somewhere (I'm pretty sure she's wandering Earth as a "normal" human. Or should I say elf?)

Wow. I REALLY got off-topic here, didn't I? I love it. Thanks for flames, not favoriting, and oh, of course not reviewing. It just makes my day (especially with this story which I clearly tried so hard on).


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